Navigating the Narcissists: Rise Above and Refuse to Argue.
Dealing with narcissists can be an incredibly challenging and draining experience. Their need for power and control often leads them to engage in arguments, leaving those around them feeling frustrated and exhausted. Understanding why narcissists like to argue, how they argue, and why it’s pointless to engage with them is crucial in protecting our own mental and emotional well-being.
One of the primary reasons narcissists like to argue is simply because they do not want to understand any opposing points of view. Their inflated sense of self-importance leads them to believe that their opinions and perspectives are always right, making it nearly impossible for them to entertain the idea of being wrong. Engaging in an argument with a narcissist often feels futile because they are more interested in proving their own superiority than in exploring alternative viewpoints.
Furthermore, narcissists are committed to misunderstanding you. They will twist your words, misinterpret your intentions, and deliberately misconstrue your statements. This tactic allows them to maintain control over the conversation and keep the focus on themselves. By intentionally misrepresenting your thoughts and feelings, they can manipulate the narrative to suit their own agenda.
In addition, narcissists may hear you, but they lack the empathy to truly listen. They may be physically present, but their inability to genuinely understand and connect with others hampers their ability to engage in productive conversations. This lack of empathy means that the narcissist is more interested in their own thoughts and opinions than in truly understanding and considering yours. As a result, arguing with a narcissist often feels like talking to a brick wall, leaving you feeling unheard and invalidated.
Another reason why narcissists like to argue is their desire to provoke negative reactions from you, which they can then use to place blame on you. By intentionally stirring up emotional turmoil, they can redirect any blame or criticism away from themselves and onto you. They may employ tactics such as criticising, mocking, judging, and humiliating you in order to hurt and frustrate you. This manipulation allows them to maintain their false sense of superiority while casting you as the villain.
Furthermore, narcissists possess an uncanny ability to twist arguments and make everything your fault. Even if you present valid points and evidence, they will often find a way to redirect the blame back onto you. This twist in the narrative not only derails any productive conversation but also leaves you feeling confused and gaslighted. Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic narcissists often employ to make you doubt your own reality, making it nearly impossible to effectively engage in an open, honest communication with them.
Narcissists can also resort to passive-aggressive behaviour or even become verbally and physically aggressive during arguments. Their need to maintain control and dominance can manifest in intimidating behaviours aimed at silencing and intimidating you. Engaging in discussions with someone who is volatile and potentially dangerous can pose serious risks to your well-being, making it all the more essential to avoid these confrontations whenever possible.
One of the most important reasons why arguing with a narcissist is pointless is that they only care about winning. Their desire to be right and to maintain their façade of superiority makes genuine listening and understanding impossible for them. Engaging in arguments with a narcissist simply adds fuel to their ego and ultimately reinforces their manipulative behaviour. Refusing to argue with them can help to disrupt their power dynamics and protect your own emotional well-being.
When faced with a narcissist, the most effective self-help strategy is to rise above and refuse to argue. This involves setting clear boundaries, prioritising your own mental and emotional health, and focusing on maintaining your own peace of mind. This may include reducing or cutting off contact with the narcissist, seeking support from trusted friends or therapists, and practising self-care techniques such as mindfulness and stress reduction.
In conclusion, navigating the world of narcissists requires a deep understanding of their motives and tactics. Recognising that arguing with narcissists is often futile is crucial in protecting ourselves from their manipulative behaviours. By choosing to rise above and refusing to engage in arguments, we can regain control over our own well-being and prevent further harm from being inflicted upon us.
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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.