Identity Theft By Design: Unmasking Narcissists and How They Steal Your Identity & Destroy Your World.
Identity theft is an increasingly prevalent issue in today’s digital age, where personal information is at risk like never before. However, there is another form of identity theft that occurs covertly and insidiously, one that does not involve stealing credit card numbers or hacking into bank accounts. This form of identity theft is conducted by narcissists, individuals who manipulate and exploit others for their own gain. In this article, we will explore the various tactics used by narcissists to steal your identity, including future faking, interfering in your hobbies, gaslighting, and ultimately discarding you while they continue to thrive.
Covertly Stealing Identity and Borrowing Your Hopes, Dreams, and Interests:
Narcissists are masters of deception, particularly when it comes to mirroring your hopes, dreams, hobbies, likes, and dislikes. At the beginning of a relationship or friendship, they carefully study your characteristics, preferences, and aspirations. They then mimic these traits to an uncanny extent, making you believe that you have found a kindred spirit who shares your passions and values. They create a sense of familiarity and connection that soon becomes the foundation of the exploitative relationship.
Future Faking and False Promises:
Once the narcissist has gained your trust and lured you into their web, they engage in a behaviour known as future faking. They promise you a bright future filled with shared dreams and aspirations, leading you to invest emotionally, financially, and mentally in their exaggerated promises. They manipulate your hopes, building up an image of a perfect life together, only to later reveal that it was all a façade.
Interfering in Your Hobbies and Passions:
Having gained a foothold in your life, narcissists will gradually interfere with your hobbies and passions. They subtly mock and criticise the very things they once claimed to love about you. By belittling your interests, they chip away at your confidence and sense of self-worth. Each time you consider pursuing an activity or spending time with friends and family, their negative words echo in your mind, leading to self-doubt, anxiety, and depression.
Friends and family:
Narcissists possess an uncanny ability to charm and manipulate those around them, gaining their trust and loyalty. Once they secure a foothold in your life, the narcissist will slowly but surely start isolating you from your friends and family.
Narcissists control and dominate their victims, using manipulation tactics such as gaslighting and guilt-tripping. They make you doubt yourself, question your own judgment, and depend on them for validation. This makes it easier for them to undermine your relationships with others.
The narcissist will create a narrative where you are the problem, painting themselves as the victim or the only one who truly understands you. By distorting reality and manipulating your perception, they slowly poison the relationships you value, one by one. Friends and family may start doubting your intentions, believing the narcissist’s lies and stories. They may become frustrated or exhausted by the constant drama and chaos that the narcissist stirs up.
As a result, the narcissist successfully steals your identity by isolating you from your support network, leaving you vulnerable and dependent solely on them for validation and companionship.
Gaslighting and the Loss of Your Voice:
Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic used by narcissists to distort your perception of reality, leaving you questioning your own sanity. They manipulate facts, twist events, and deny their own wrongdoing to make you doubt your feelings, memories, and judgments. Slowly, their voice replaces yours in your head, and you begin to believe their distorted version of reality. Your autonomy and independence are eroded, and your identity becomes fractured.
Dependence and Discard:
Narcissists feign concern in front of your friends and family, painting themselves as the victims of your alleged toxicity. They seize control with their charismatic charm, making you increasingly dependent on them emotionally, financially, and socially. However, once they have exhausted your resources and drained your self-esteem to the point of complete submission, they discard you callously, moving on to a new target who they can manipulate and exploit.
Rebuilding and Rediscovering Your Identity:
After the devastating discard, you find yourself at rock bottom, questioning everything about who you are and what you have been through. It is at this point that the arduous journey of rebuilding oneself and reclaiming your identity begins. With the support of loved ones, therapy, and self-reflection, you slowly piece together the fragments of your shattered self and rediscover your dreams, hobbies, and aspirations.
Identity theft by design, perpetrated by narcissists, encompasses a sinister manipulation of hopes, dreams, and passions. By mirroring and ultimately destroying your sense of self, they leave a trail of emotional devastation behind. To combat these predators, it is crucial to identify the signs of narcissistic behaviour, seek support from friends and family, and focus on rebuilding your own identity, free from the influence of those who seek to exploit and devalue you. It is only through this process that you can truly unmask the narcissists and reclaim the life that is rightfully yours.
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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp(Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.