Narcissists Exposed: How They Steal Your Belongings to Then Gaslight Your Reality

Narcissists Exposed: How They Steal Your Belongings to Then Gaslight Your Reality.

In the intricate web of toxic relationships, narcissists stand out with their unique propensity for selfishness and manipulation. One intriguing aspect of their behaviour revolves around possessions, as they firmly believe that what’s yours is theirs, and what’s theirs is solely their own. This article delves into the disturbing dynamic of how narcissists cunningly take your belongings and then proceed to gaslight you about it, leaving you questioning your own sanity.

The Sense of Entitlement:

At the core of a narcissist’s behaviour lies an intense sense of entitlement. They firmly believe that they deserve access to your possessions without any reciprocal obligation. Their excessive self-focus creates a distorted perspective, leading them to believe that they are justified in taking what is rightfully yours.

Hiding and Accusing:

Narcissists frequently exhibit a pattern of hiding your belongings and subsequently accusing you of negligence. They may intentionally misplace items, all while subtly suggesting that it is your responsibility to care for your belongings diligently. By doing so, they covertly shift the blame onto you and undermine your ability to trust your own memory and judgment.

Borrowing and Failing to Return:

Another tactic employed by narcissists is borrowing your possessions without permission and subsequently refusing to return them. They conveniently overlook the concept of consent, assuming that they have an inherent right to take what they desire. When confronted about the missing item, they may deflect the blame onto you or employ covert threats, creating a distressing power dynamic.

The Gift Illusion:

Narcissists skillfully utilise the concept of gifting as a means of manipulation. They might present you with a gift, only to swiftly demand its return as soon as you express disagreement or when things don’t align with their expectations. This twisted tactic aims to exert control over you and instil a sense of indebtedness, creating a power play within the relationship.

Gaslighting and Projection:

When items go missing due to the narcissist’s actions, they employ gaslighting techniques to undermine your reality. They may claim that you misplaced the item, suggesting that you are forgetful or incapable of basic organisation. Simultaneously, should they lose something of their own, they will accuse you of taking it, projecting their own actions onto you. This intentional manipulation can leave you doubting your own perceptions and questioning your sanity.

Victimization and Innocence:

Calling out a narcissist’s behaviour can be a difficult task, even just asking if they’ve seen something, as they are masters of playing the victim and feigning innocence. When confronted about their actions, they will swiftly shift the blame onto you, avoiding any accountability. Their acting skills are on full display as they portray themselves as innocent targets, deflecting any accusations and making you the villain in their twisted narrative.

Selfishness and Accusations:

If you dare to ask for the return of an item the narcissist took without permission, they will resort to accusing you of being selfish or not sharing. They conveniently project their own selfishness onto you, attempting to make you question your motives and sense of generosity. Such manipulations further highlight their constant need for control and dominance in the relationship.

Memory Manipulation and Gaslighting:

Memory manipulation is a common tool used by narcissists to further their agenda. They might insist that you gave them permission to take your belongings when, in reality, no such consent was ever granted. This calculated tactic aims to confuse and disorient you, making it difficult to discern truth from fiction. They will shamelessly gaslight you, claiming that it is your fault for not remembering or being unable to care for your possessions adequately.

Dismissive Attitudes and Broken Items:

When narcissists return borrowed items with missing parts or damage, they will dismissively ask why you are making a fuss about it, swiftly belittling the sentimental value you attached to the item. They might even go to the extent of claiming, “That’s how you gave it to me,” attempting to shift responsibility for their own actions. This callous disregard for your emotions further demonstrates their lack of empathy and the manipulative nature of their behaviour.


Navigating relationships with narcissists can be emotionally draining, especially when they exhibit behaviours of entitlement, possessiveness, and gaslighting. Understanding their tendencies to take and manipulate your belongings is crucial in protecting your mental well-being. By recognising these tactics, you can begin to regain control of your reality and establish healthy boundaries in your relationships. Remember, you deserve respect, empathy, and mutual sharing, rather than manipulation, deceit, and gaslighting.

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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.

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