Narcissist’s Worst Nightmare: Going No Contact and How They React!
In the realm of psychology, the concept of going “no contact” refers to a deliberate decision made by an individual to cut off all contact with a narcissist, be it a family member, friend, or romantic partner. No contact is a strategy employed to protect oneself from the toxic and manipulative behaviour of these individuals. While it may seem like a straightforward decision, many people find it challenging to execute due to various psychological and emotional factors. However, the impact it has on the narcissist can be truly significant and serves as their worst nightmare.
To comprehend why individuals struggle with going no contact, it is essential to understand the dynamics at play when dealing with a narcissist. Narcissists tend to possess an inflated sense of self-worth and an insatiable need for admiration and control. They are master manipulators, capable of exploiting others to further their own agenda. These individuals thrive on the attention and validation they receive from those around them, constantly seeking to feed their egos. Consequently, trying to sever ties and go no contact can be fraught with difficulty.
A primary reason people find it challenging to go no contact with a narcissist is the intense emotional attachment that may have developed over time. Narcissists excel in creating powerful emotional bonds, making it incredibly difficult for their victims to break free. This emotional attachment can be the result of shared experiences, perceived love, or even a sense of duty instilled in the victim. The fear of losing this connection, combined with a deep-seated hope for change or improvement, can hinder any attempts to break away.
Moreover, the manipulation tactics utilised by narcissists can reinforce feelings of guilt, self-doubt, and even fear in their victims. Gaslighting, a common technique employed by narcissists, involves distorting reality and making the victim question their own sanity. This psychological warfare can leave individuals feeling trapped, confused, and dependent on the narcissist for guidance and validation. Consequently, the mere thought of going no contact can trigger overwhelming anxiety and fear of the unknown.
Once the decision to go no contact is finally made, the impact on the narcissist can be profound and nightmarish. Cut off from their primary source of attention and validation, narcissists experience a significant blow to their ego and sense of self. They may react in a variety of ways, but a common response is a desperate attempt to regain control and supremacy over the victim.
The Impact on the Narcissist:
Contrary to common expectations, implementing no contact can significantly impact the narcissistic individual. Narcissists crave attention and admiration, and when this is suddenly withdrawn, they may experience a severe blow to their ego and self-perception. Realising that someone they once held power over has severed ties can be deeply unsettling, leading to various emotional reactions and subsequent attempts to regain control.
Games Narcissists Play after No Contact:
- Hoovering: A narcissist may employ this tactic by reaching out to the victim, often with empty promises and pleas for a second chance. Common methods include sending sentimental gifts, love letters, or initiating contact through mutual friends.
- Love Bombing: In an effort to manipulate the victim and reinstate their control, narcissists may resort to showering them with excessive attention, affection, and compliments. This sudden display of love and affection can be disarming, tempting the victim to reconsider their decision.
- Withheld Numbers: To create uncertainty and evoke anxiety, narcissists may resort to calling from withheld or unfamiliar numbers. This strategy aims to instil fear in the victim that they are being constantly watched or monitored, generating doubt about their choice to go no contact.
- False Promises of Change: Another common tactic employed by narcissists is making empty promises, proclaiming they have changed or undergone significant personal growth. These promises, however, are rarely sustained and often intended solely to manipulate the victim back into the toxic relationship.
- False Apologies: Recognising the victim’s need for closure, a narcissist may attempt to offer an apology. However, their apologies are typically insincere and lack genuine remorse. They are often used as a ploy to manipulate the victim into re-engaging in the relationship.
- Emergency: A narcissist may feign an emergency or crisis to elicit sympathy and compassion from the victim. By tugging at their empathetic nature, the narcissist aims to regain control and exploit their emotions.
- Guilt: Manipulating the victim’s sense of guilt is yet another strategy employed by narcissists. They may use emotional manipulation, accusations, and blame-shifting to make the victim question their decision to go no contact.
- Doing Good Deeds: In an effort to demonstrate their capability for kindness and compassion, narcissists may suddenly perform generous acts or engage in charity work. These actions serve to confuse the victim while painting the narcissist in a positive light.
- Meet up One Last Time to Clear the Air: Hoping to reestablish control further, the narcissist may propose a final meeting to discuss the past and find a resolution. This tactic often proves futile, as narcissists typically use such meetings to further manipulate and undermine the victim’s decision to maintain no contact.
- Provoke a Negative Reaction: Narcissists are experts at pushing boundaries and provoking emotional responses. They may resort to aggressive or passive-aggressive behavior, intentionally engaging in actions that are meant to elicit a negative reaction from the person who has gone no contact. By doing so, they regain a sense of power and control over the situation, often enjoying the turmoil they cause in the process.
- Smear Your Name: In an attempt to maintain their image of superiority and control, narcissists often engage in character assassination. They may spread false rumours, distort the truth, or manipulate others’ perceptions of their victim. By tarnishing the reputation of the person who has gone no contact, the narcissist hopes to regain control and manipulate the narrative to suit their needs.
- Weaponise Children: Narcissists can use their children as pawns in their quest for control. They may manipulate visitation rights, custody agreements or use emotional blackmail to weaken their ex-partner’s resolve. By weaponising the children, the narcissist aims to continue exerting control over their victim even after going no contact, leaving them emotionally trapped and financially burdened.
- Stalking and Intrusion: A narcissist can become consumed with the idea of regaining control over someone who has gone no contact. They may resort to stalking, turning up unexpectedly at the victim’s workplace or hobbies, or even moving in close proximity, such as with a neighbour. Such intrusions aim to make the victim feel constantly watched and harassed, attempting to break their resolve and resume contact.
- Leaving or Keeping Belongings: Another tactic employed by narcissists is to leave or keep the belongings of the person who has gone no contact. This strategy serves two purposes. Firstly, it allows the narcissist to maintain some level of control and a sense of connection to their victim. Secondly, it creates an excuse to initiate contact, prolonging their influence and manipulating the situation to match their needs.
- Fall Silent: Alternatively, narcissists might choose to withdraw entirely and remain silent. This tactic is a form of emotional manipulation known as the “silent treatment.” By withholding communication and attention, narcissists aim to provoke anxiety, self-doubt, and a desperate need for validation, ultimately hoping to break their victim’s resolve and force them back into contact.
Going no contact with a narcissist is not an easy decision, but it is often necessary to reclaim one’s well-being and sanity. However, it must be understood that the repercussions of going no contact can be severe. The narcissist’s worst nightmare is undoubtedly the victim’s choice to go no contact. The withdrawal of attention and admiration poses a significant threat to their fragile ego and internal equilibrium. As a result, narcissists resort to various manipulative tactics, such as hoovering, love bombing, false promises, and guilt-tripping, to reestablish control over their victims. Recognising these tactics as mere attempts to regain dominance, it is crucial for victims to remain steadfast in maintaining and enforcing their chosen no-contact boundaries. Only then can they find the necessary space and freedom to heal and rebuild their lives.
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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.
