What is the narcissists discard?
The narcissist’s discard is a painful and bewildering experience that occurs when a narcissistic individual disposes of their partner, friends or family. It is a heart-wrenching process where the narcissist abruptly ends the relationship, often leaving the other person feeling confused, hurt, and alone. The discard is typically a result of the narcissist’s need for constant admiration and validation, and once their partner no longer serves their purpose or becomes a threat to their ego, they discard them without remorse. Remember, if you find yourself on the receiving end of a narcissist’s discard, you are not alone, and it is possible to heal and rebuild your life.
Why do narcissists discard?
Narcissists, like all individuals, can display complex behaviours that are rooted in their unique psychological makeup. When it comes to the act of discarding, there are several reasons why narcissists might engage in this behaviour.
Firstly, narcissists often seek constant validation and admiration from others. They thrive on being the centre of attention and receiving praise. However, when they perceive that their source of validation is no longer able to fulfil this need, they might choose to discard that person. This could be due to the individual no longer meeting the narcissist’s unrealistic expectations or failing to provide the desired level of adoration.
Furthermore, narcissists often struggle with intimacy and establishing genuine emotional connections. They may see relationships as transactional, with the primary objective being to serve their own needs and desires. As a result, once the narcissist no longer perceives the relationship as beneficial, they may choose to discard the person rather than investing further emotional energy or effort.
Finally, narcissists may discard individuals to maintain a sense of control and power. By ending a relationship or severing ties when it suits them, they can exert authority and manipulate the situation to their advantage.
Ultimately, the reasons for narcissistic discarding are deeply rooted in their insatiable need for validation, their struggle with emotional intimacy, and their desire to exert control. Understanding these motivations can shed light on the complex dynamics of narcissistic relationships.
Unveiling the 6 Signs of Temporary Discard by a Narcissist:
When entangled in a relationship with a narcissistic individual, it is crucial to recognise the signs of their manipulative tactics. One such maneuver is the temporary discard, where the narcissist temporarily distances themselves from their victim, only to retain control over them. These signs include devaluation, triangulation, silent treatment, ghosting, and smearing your name.
Devaluation is a prominent sign that signifies a temporary discard by a narcissist. Usually preceded by an idealisation phase, the narcissist deploys calculated methods to demean and undermine their victim’s self-esteem. During this period, they may belittle, criticise, and invalidate your thoughts, feelings, and accomplishments. This devaluation aims to diminish your self-worth while simultaneously shifting the power dynamics in favour of the narcissist.
Triangulation involves the narcissist involving a third party to create tension and instability in the relationship. This manipulation tactic allows the narcissist to assert dominance while causing their victim to feel anxious, threatened, and vulnerable. By engaging in overtly flirtatious behaviour with others or forming inappropriate emotional bonds outside the relationship, the narcissist seeks to control the victim’s emotions through jealousy and insecurity.
- Silent Treatment:
The silent treatment is an extremely debilitating weapon used by narcissists during their temporary discard phase. It is a deliberate form of emotional punishment characterised by the complete withdrawal of communication, affection, and attention towards the victim. Utilising silence to inflict emotional distress and uncertainty, the narcissist reinforces their control over your emotions, leading to feelings of isolation, inadequacy, and desperation.
Ghosting occurs when a narcissist abruptly and inexplicably disappears from the victim’s life without explanation or closure. This form of temporary discard leaves the victim in a state of shock, confusion, and self-doubt. Often, narcissists employ ghosting as an effective way to manipulate their victim into seeking validation and reconciliation, thereby maintaining their power and control.
- Smearing Your Name:
During the temporary discard phase, narcissists frequently engage in character assassination or smearing campaigns against their victims. By spreading rumours, lies, or distorted versions of events, they aim to discredit and damage your reputation. This calculated manipulation isolates you further and ensures that their abusive behaviours are concealed from others, ultimately reinforcing their control over the relationship dynamic.
- New Supply: A telltale sign of temporary discard is the immediate emergence of a new supply in the narcissist’s life. These individuals act as a replacement, providing the narcissist with admiration, validation, and attention. Witnessing the narcissist quickly transition into a new relationship feeds into feelings of betrayal and abandonment, further exacerbating the emotional turmoil experienced during the temporary discard phase.
Recognising the signs of temporary discard by a narcissist is vital for understanding their manipulative tactics and protecting oneself from further emotional harm. By understanding and identifying these strategies, victims of narcissistic abuse can begin to reclaim their self-worth, establish boundaries, and ultimately break free from the cycle of manipulation and control.
How does the narcissists discard impact their victims?
The temporary discarding behaviour exhibited by narcissists is an insidious tactic that deeply impacts their victims on multiple levels. It serves as a means for the narcissist to exert control, promote self-importance, and push their victims into a state of emotional turmoil.
Firstly, the temporary discard induces profound emotional distress on the victim. With sudden detachment or separation, the victim is left in a state of confusion, abandonment, and self-doubt. These emotions can be overwhelming, leading to anxiety, depression, and a diminished sense of self-worth.
Secondly, narcissists use the temporary discard to manipulate their victims’ behaviour. By instilling a fear of rejection and abandonment, the narcissist can coerce their victims into compliance. Victims become willing to go to great lengths to regain the narcissist’s attention and affection, often compromising their own values and boundaries in the process.
Thirdly, the temporary discard exacerbates the cycle of love-bombing and devaluation that is characteristic of narcissistic relationships. The victim is subjected to periods of intense admiration and adoration, only to be abruptly cast aside. This emotional rollercoaster not only undermines the victim’s confidence but also reinforces their dependence on the narcissist for validation and self-worth.
Lastly, the temporary discard perpetuates a pattern of attachment and longing for the victim. The intermittent reinforcement of love and affection alongside the withdrawal of attention creates a strong emotional bond that is difficult for the victim to sever. This leaves the victim more susceptible to further manipulation and abuse, as their desire to recapture that initial positive connection overshadows the harm caused by the narcissist’s behavior.
The narcissist’s temporary discard has far-reaching and destructive effects on the victim. It undermines their emotional well-being, manipulates their behaviour, reinforces the cycle of abuse, isolates them from support networks, and perpetuates a toxic attachment. Recognising these impacts is crucial for victims to break free from the clutches of narcissistic abuse and begin the healing process.
Remember the final discard comes from you.
How to handle the narcissist’s discard?
The narcissist discard is a painful and challenging experience that can leave individuals feeling shattered and emotionally drained. Surviving this ordeal requires resilience, self-care, and a solid support network. Firstly, it is crucial to acknowledge that the discard is not a reflection of one’s self-worth or value as a person. Narcissists are skilled manipulators who exploit and control others for their own gain, often discarding individuals once they no longer serve their purpose. Understanding this can aid in rebuilding self-esteem.
Self-care is vital during this period. Engaging in activities that promote emotional and physical well-being, such as exercise, meditation, and therapy, can help regain a sense of inner strength. Practising self-compassion and forgiveness is crucial to moving forward. Forgiving oneself for any perceived mistakes made during the relationship is essential for releasing blame and guilt. (Sponsored.). https://betterhelp.com/elizabethshaw
Building a support network of trusted friends, family, or a therapist is invaluable. Sharing one’s experience with individuals who can provide empathy, guidance, and support can help in processing the emotions associated with the discard. Additionally, joining support groups or seeking professional help can aid in understanding the dynamics of narcissistic abuse and learning effective coping strategies.
In conclusion, surviving the narcissist discard necessitates recognising one’s worth, engaging in self-care, and seeking support. By prioritising personal well-being and utilising resources available, individuals can emerge from this challenging experience stronger and more resilient.
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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.