Red Flags That You Could Be Dealing With a Narcissistic Person
Not everyone who exhibits some of these signs is on the narcissistic personality disorder spectrum. Some people may simply be charming or lack patience. However, it’s important to be aware of these warning signs:
- Superficial Charm: Narcissists are incredibly charming at first, but their flattery feels insincere. They may seem too good to be true, offering compliments that are more about manipulation than genuine appreciation.
- Fast Involvement: Narcissists often claim that they’ve never met anyone like you before, making you feel special and needed. They rush into saying “I love you” and rapidly advance the relationship. They may even push to move into your home or urge you to sell your home and live with them far away from friends and family.
- Quick to Turn: After the initial charm wears off, narcissists can suddenly become hostile and leave you wondering what just happened. Their swift mood swings can leave you confused and emotionally drained.
- Lack of Patience: Pay attention to how the person reacts when things don’t go their way, such as being stuck in traffic or dealing with everyday frustrations. Observe how they treat others as well. Do they display anger easily? Are they critical of friends, family, or staff? Such behaviours might indicate a lack of patience and empathy.
- One-Sided Conversations: Narcissists may initially show interest in learning about you, but they quickly divert the conversation back to themselves. They won’t genuinely listen or engage in a two-way dialogue. They are solely focused on using you for their own gain and gathering information to potentially exploit or manipulate you.
- Selfishness: While there are selfish people who are not narcissists, true narcissists exhibit a sense of entitlement. They may spend all your money before their own, claim invincibility, or hold double standards. They are reluctant to do favours for others but expect others to constantly cater to their needs.
- Stubbornness: While having opinions and being firm in them is normal, genuine individuals are open to considering others’ viewpoints. Narcissists, on the other hand, are excessively stubborn about their own beliefs and dismissive of others, displaying a lack of empathy.
- Isolation: Narcissists thrive on admiration and attention, often attempting to isolate their partners from friends and family. They want to be the center of attention at all times and will do whatever it takes to keep it that way.
- Lack of Genuine Empathy: Narcissists struggle to empathise with others. They may not feel or express emotions when watching shows or movies, whereas most people would. They might even go so far as to claim that others deserve the suffering they experience. Watch out for those who mistreat animals and consistently speak negatively about others.
- Criticism: Narcissists often criticise their partners, only to brush it off with remarks like, “You’re too sensitive,” “You’re too emotional,” “You’re insecure,” or “I’m just joking.” They manipulate and undermine your self-esteem, making you doubt your own perception.
- Past Experiences: Narcissists tend to portray all their past partners as “crazy.” While it’s normal to have challenging exes, be cautious if they refuse any communication with their exes altogether.
- Exaggeration: Narcissists might lie about their past achievements or exaggerate what they have accomplished. This tendency to embellish their achievements is a way for them to boost their ego and gain validation.
- Excessive Demands on Time: Initially, constant calls and messages may seem endearing, but they can quickly become a sign of possessiveness and control. Narcissists become upset when they can’t reach you at all times or when you have plans that don’t involve them, leading to silent treatment and sulking.
- Envy: Narcissists often feel jealous and resentful of what others have or who they are. This envy can manifest in their behaviour, as they may try to undermine or belittle others’ accomplishments.
- Addictions: Some narcissists struggle with substance abuse or gambling issues. Such addictive behaviours can further contribute to their manipulative and self-centred tendencies.
When it comes to protecting ourselves, there are warning signs we should pay attention to:
- Self-Doubt: If you find yourself questioning your own thoughts and experiences, constantly blaming yourself for their behaviour, or feeling confused about the dynamics of the relationship, it’s important to recognise these as gaslighting tactics and seek clarity.
- Justifying Bad Behavior: When you start making excuses and justifications for someone else’s harmful actions, it’s essential to acknowledge the reality of the situation rather than cling to an idealised image of who you want them to be. Sometimes, walking away is the best choice.
- Disrespecting Boundaries: If someone continuously tests your boundaries and shows a lack of respect for your needs and values, it’s a clear sign that they don’t value you as an individual. Walking away from such a toxic relationship is necessary for your well-being.
- Trusting Your Instincts: Your gut feelings are often reliable indicators. If something feels off or wrong, trust your instincts. Don’t dismiss your intuition as paranoia. It’s essential to prioritise your safety and emotional well-being.
Remember, most people can exhibit one or two traits of narcissism without being full-blown narcissists. It’s important to evaluate a person’s overall character and actions rather than making quick judgments based solely on individual traits. Actions speak louder than words, so observe how their behaviours align with their words.
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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.
