The Narcissists Triangulation.

Triangulation is a common tactic used by narcissists to manipulate those around them.

Firstly, a narcissist is someone who has an inflated sense of self-importance and lacks empathy for others. This can make them very difficult to deal with, especially when you are in a close relationship with them. One way that they can control people around them is through triangulation.

So, what does triangulation mean? Triangulation is how a narcissist will involve a third party in a situation to manipulate the outcome. They will do this by either speaking to the third party about you or speaking to you about the third party. This can be done in a seemingly innocent way, like asking for advice, but the intention is to create a sense of competition or conflict between you and the other person.

For example, let’s say you’re in a romantic relationship with a narcissist. They may start talking about their ex-partner in a way that makes you feel jealous or insecure, even if the relationship with their ex has been over for months or even years. Or, they may start bringing up a friend of yours constantly, always comparing you to them and making you feel like you’re not good enough.

This can be a very distressing experience and can lead to damaging relationships. However, if you are aware of this tactic, it can help you stay more grounded and not take everything the narcissist says at face value. It’s important to remember that the narcissist is projecting their own insecurities and needs onto you, so don’t allow them to make you feel inferior.

Here are 12 tactics that narcissists use to triangulate:

  1. Playing the Victim: The narcissist will exaggerate a problem or situation to get a reaction from others. They may pretend to be hurt or vulnerable, causing others to come to their rescue.
  2. Hungry for Attention: They may flirt with or show interest in someone else to get attention from their partner.
  3. Comparing: The narcissist may compare their partner to other people in a disparaging way to make their partner feel insecure and inferior.
  4. Keeping Secrets: They may keep secrets from their partner, making them feel left out and insecure.
  5. Gaslighting: The narcissist may distort the truth or deny events to make their partner question their own reality.
  6. Scapegoating: They may blame their partner for the problems in the relationship and seek support from outside sources.
  7. Strategic Affairs: They may have an affair to make their partner feel jealous and insecure.
  8. Using the Children: They may use the children to get their partner to do what they want or to make their partner feel guilty.
  9. Isolation: The narcissist may isolate their partner from their friends and family, making them more dependent on the narcissist for support.
  10. Overcompensating: They may overcompensate their affections and love towards others, to make their partner feel ignored and undervalued.
  11. Double Standards: The narcissist may have different standards for their partner than for themselves, making their partner feel inadequate.
  12. Creating Drama: They may create drama or problems, causing their partner to question their own judgment or sanity.

It’s important to recognise these triangulation tactics and know how to protect yourself from the manipulations of narcissists. Remember that healthy relationships are built on trust and respect, and you have the right to stand up for yourself and set boundaries.

As Narcissists are masters of manipulation, Triangulation is a common psychological tactic that the narcissist uses to create drama and instability in a relationship by involving a third party. This third person can be anyone, a family member, friend, co-worker or even an object.

The narcissist uses triangulation to make their victim feel insecure and unstable. They do this by creating tension, jealousy, and competition between their victim and the third party. This makes the victim feel like they are constantly competing with someone else for the narcissist’s attention and approval, which can create a feeling of being trapped and helpless.

Moreover, triangulation can make the narcissist’s victim feel like they are going crazy. They feel confused and uncertain about what’s happening in their relationship or what they are supposed to do to fix things. The victim can start to doubt their own feelings and intentions, which can result in anxiety, depression and low self-esteem.

Another aspect of triangulation is that it makes it difficult for the victim to leave the relationship. The third party becomes an obstacle that the victim feels they need to overcome to win back the narcissist’s attention. This creates a feeling of dependency on the narcissist and makes it hard for the victim to break away from the toxic relationship.

To further emphasise the impact of triangulation on the victim, the narcissist can use triangulation as a tactic to gaslight. Gaslighting is a form of mental and emotional abuse that involves manipulating the victim to the point where they doubt their own memory and believe the narcissist’s lies. By using triangulation, the narcissist can make the victim feel like they are paranoid or irrational, further enhancing the impact of gaslighting on the victim.

If you’re feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, or confused about how to deal with triangulation, it’s important to remember that you’re not alone. Many people have experienced this kind of behaviour from narcissistic individuals, and thankfully, some self-help strategies can help you handle it.

  1. Recognise the Signs of Triangulation

The first step in handling triangulation is to recognise when it’s happening. Triangulation can take many forms, but it often involves the narcissist using a third party to create tension and drama between you and another person. For example, the narcissist might tell you that someone else is talking about you behind your back, or they might play two people against each other by spreading lies or rumours.

  1. Don’t Engage in the Drama

Once you’ve recognised that you’re dealing with triangulation, it’s important not to engage in the drama. Narcissists thrive on conflict and drama, and if you respond to their manipulation, it will only give them more power. Instead, try to stay calm, avoid drama, and refuse to be drawn into their drama.

  1. Set Healthy Boundaries

Setting healthy boundaries is crucial when dealing with narcissists, especially when it comes to triangulation. Be clear with the narcissist that their behaviour is not acceptable, and let them know that you will not be part of their drama. If they continue to try and manipulate you, it may be necessary to cut ties or limit contact.

  1. Focus on Self-Care

Dealing with a narcissist and their triangulation can be incredibly stressful and draining, so it’s essential to take care of yourself. Focus on activities that make you feel good, such as exercise, meditation, or spending time with friends and family. Make sure you’re getting enough sleep and eating well, and take breaks when you need to.

  1. Seek Professional Help

If you’re feeling particularly overwhelmed or struggling to cope with the narcissist’s behaviour, it may be helpful to seek professional help. A therapist or counsellor can help you work through your feelings and develop strategies for dealing with the narcissist.

In conclusion, triangulation is a manipulative tactic that narcissists use to control and manipulate their victims. It can create feelings of chaos, uncertainty, and dependency in the victim, leaving them vulnerable to further abuse. If you recognise these patterns in your relationship, it’s essential to seek help from a professional who can guide you towards regaining your mental and emotional state. Remember that you deserve to be respected, loved and safe.

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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.

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