Overcoming Narcissist Abuse, By Elizabeth Shaw – Life Coach.
Not all addicts are narcissistic. Most narcissists are addicts of some form, be it drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, porn, some people hit rock bottom who are not narcissistic and turn into addicts there is quite a fine line between the two.
Those of you who have been with an addict might have tried to help them several times, they might have tried to push their own addictions onto you, some might have achieved this, so now you have not only got to wean yourself of the natural chemicals of dopamine and cortisol to escape the addiction of a narcissistic relationship, also other addictions, from OCD to food, being addicted to things like chocolate, or eating far too much ( comfort eating.) to far too little ( trying to regain control over areas of your life.) addicted to cleaning, again, to keep control over areas of your life, there’s nothing wrong with cleaning or watching what you eat, so long as it’s not effecting you and taking over you way of life, temporary go to coping strategies can become long term habits, how to break addictions and habits easier is to become addicted to something else and this can be a great healing method if it’s a positive addiction without turning it to the extreme, like taking up exercise to release those endorphins, there is however a healthy extreme depending on your end goals and unhealthy extremes, only you know you, if you don’t work on getting to know you, if you feel worse for not taking that run, or cleaning that room and feel better for doing so you need to do it, if you feel worse within yourself for cleaning far too much, try to cut down slowly, or if you feel worse for running too now, just knock 5 minutes off don’t stop entirely as this will have a negative effect and exercise is good for you. The same for eating feeling too bad for overeating, stressing on eating too little, keep a written diary and become accountable within your conscious thoughts, life is about balance.
Narcissists and substance abuse.
Yes, there is some connections with narcissists and drug addictions, the narcissist personality disorder is on a spectrum so not all will, as narcissistic people do not truly trust, love, connect or care for others, they have to find other methods to self soothe their own deeply hidden traumas, if they can not turn inwards to heal, if they cannot admit fault and if they can not turn to others for actual support as they believe they are above all other’s. So being truly vulnerable and open to you would damage their already damaged self-esteem, ego, superiority and pride, they might play the victim card, this is only temporary though to meet a need of their own, the truth might come from their mouths, but it never lasts, as they use all others and don’t see themselves as the problem, they are incapable of genuinely admitting fault and taking any responsibility for their own actions. So they soothe themselves with things like alcohol, with drugs, with narcissism, with power and control, with gambling and sex,
with a narcissist as they have no actual reality to who they really are, low self-esteem, insecurities and vulnerabilities that they don’t want to admit within themselves, to feel better within themselves they have to take control in other areas of their life, ether controlling people, systems, manipulating everything they can to how they believe it should be in their own reality and their own beliefs that they are unsure of, or control through addiction, when people good or bad go around masking problems or creating problems, they never get to the root cause of the real problem, they only make things worse for themselves, deep within themes and the true problems just get buried deeper and deeper with more on top.
Narcissists and alcohol.
Narcissism. Difficulty in accepting their own actions, behaviours towards the mistakes they make, they have false realities about themselves, others and life. They do not care for what their manipulative behaviour does to others, and they believe within themselves that their version of reality is correct.
Alcoholism is a progressive brain disease that causes people to have a chemical and psychological addiction or reliance or imbalance to alcohol. Causing trouble for the alcoholic in day to day life, from work to relationships, they then struggle to function without alcohol.
If someone has narcissism or alcoholism, they find it challenging to maintain healthy relationships and are similar in traits as both cause manipulation, arrogance and a lack of empathy.
They are similar as neither can see the world from other people’s perspectives.
Narcissism is a personality disorder, and alcoholism is an addiction, the similarities are.
- Superficial relationships.
- Mood swings.
- Lack of responsibility.
Having narcissistic personality disorder can lead to becoming an alcoholic; being an alcoholic can lead to having a narcissistic personality disorder. People can have both.
Someone with a narcissistic personality disorder can use drugs to cope with their own negative feelings.
Using drugs can exaggerate the narcissistic personality disorder, with a lack of empathy towards others, they feel invisible and have a heightened sense of superiority. Not all people with narcissistic personality disorder use drugs, marijuana is one of the most commonly used, as it’s considered to be one of the most socially acceptable.
Can drug abuse cause narcissistic personality disorder?
Substance abuse mimics the signs of narcissistic personality disorder, similar to alcoholism and narcissism.
- Superficial relationships.
- Mood swings.
- Lack of responsibility.
The might have signs of narcissistic personality disorder before, and substance abuse might heighten these.
Narcissistic personality disorder and stimulates.
Things like Ritalin, cocaine, steroids. When they find a day to day life tasks hard, they might turn to stimulates to increase energy and confidence.
Narcissism and gambling.
Again, not all gamblers are narcissistic, as narcissistic people tend to be risk-takers and need the excitement of gambling, as they go after the wins, and feel the losses it can make them irritable and restless, also turning to more lying about the amount of money they spend, some will lose everything of theirs and everything of yours.
Narcissism and sex.
Sex to a narcissist is all about power and control, to feel dominant and superiority, they use it to feel good about themselves.
They use sex to hook you in at the beginning, and some will also use it against you during the relationship.
Most people will say sex with a narcissist was extremely good, not all.
Sex releases chemicals in our body’s like, dopamine, as narcissistic people are always on the feel-good chase, a lot of people on the spectrum with sleep with multiple people, to feel better within themselves.
They like the chase, and they like to break down peoples boundaries, they tend to make sex more intense than intimacy. As the lack of empathy and caring is missing, they can not connect on an intimate level, so connect more on an emotional level.
Not all narcissist people are sex addicts and not all sex addicts are narcissistic.
If you’re in or have been in an abusive relationship, it’s time to either get out safely or stay out safely. Unfortunately, most of us can not help those with addictions, they need to want to change genuinely, and they need professional help, you have most likely tried to help. Just to get hurt. It’s time to look after yourself, and know your boundaries in future relationships of what you will and will not accept from others.
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