Navigating No Contact: 12 Covert Behaviors of a Narcissist to Watch Out For

Narcissists are characterised by an inflated sense of self-importance, a need for constant admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. Dealing with a narcissist can be challenging and draining, especially when it comes to ending a relationship with them. Going no contact with a narcissist can be a necessary step to protect your mental and emotional well-being. However, narcissists will often resort to covert behaviours to try to break the no-contact rule and regain control over you. In this article, we will explore 12 covert behaviors of a narcissist when you go no contact.

Accidentally on purpose messages and phone calls

One of the first covert behaviors a narcissist may exhibit when you go no contact is sending you accidental messages or making accidental phone calls. They may claim that it was a mistake, but in reality, it is a deliberate ploy to break the silence and get you to respond. They may send a text pretending to have meant to send it to someone else, or they may call you and quickly hang up, leaving you wondering if it was intentional.

Make contact about random things

When a narcissist realises that you are no longer responding to them, they may try to re-establish communication by reaching out about random things. They may ask for advice on something trivial or share a piece of news that they know will pique your interest. By initiating contact this way, they hope to draw you back into the conversation and break the no-contact rule.

Pretend to be remorseful and take responsibility

Another tactic that a narcissist may use to break no contact is pretending to be remorseful and taking responsibility for their actions. They may send you a long, heartfelt message apologising for their behaviour and acknowledging the pain they have caused you. They may claim to have had an “epiphany” and swear that they have changed. However, it is important to remember that narcissists are skilled manipulators and may be using this as a way to reel you back in.

False apologies

While a narcissist may appear to be apologetic, it is important to recognise that their apologies are often insincere. They may say all the right things to make you believe that they have changed, but in reality, they are only trying to manipulate you into breaking the no-contact rule. A narcissist’s apology will lack genuine remorse and empathy, and they are likely only saying sorry to get what they want from you.

Message by proxy

If a narcissist is unable to reach out to you directly, they may try to contact you through a mutual friend or family member. They may ask this person to pass on a message to you or inquire about how you are doing. By using a third party to communicate with you, the narcissist hopes to get a response from you and break the no-contact rule.

Play the victim

Narcissists are masters at playing the victim card. When you go no contact, they may paint themselves as the wronged party and portray you as the heartless one who abandoned them. They may post cryptic messages on social media or talk to mutual friends about how devastated they are by your absence. By playing the victim, the narcissist hopes to gain sympathy and support from others, as well as guilt-trip you into breaking the no-contact rule.

Fake emergency

Another covert behaviour that a narcissist may resort to when you go no contact is creating a fake emergency. They may claim to be in a dire situation that requires your immediate attention, in the hopes that you will feel obligated to respond. This could be anything from a sudden illness to a financial crisis. By appealing to your sense of compassion, they hope to manipulate you into breaking the no-contact rule.

False promises of change

A narcissist may also try to lure you back into their life by making false promises of change. They may swear that they have seen the error of their ways and will do everything in their power to make things right. They may promise to go to therapy, work on their issues, and become a better person. However, it is important to remember that narcissists rarely change their behaviour, and these promises are likely just empty words meant to manipulate you.

Smear campaigns

If a narcissist is unable to regain contact with you, they may try to destroy your reputation instead. They may spread lies and gossip about you to mutual friends and acquaintances, portraying you as the villain in the situation. This smear campaign is meant to discredit you and make you appear unstable or unreliable. By tarnishing your reputation, the narcissist hopes to isolate you and prevent you from seeking support from others.

Claim they can’t cope without you

Narcissists thrive on attention and admiration from others, and when you go no contact, they may struggle to cope with the loss of their primary source of narcissistic supply. They may claim that they are unable to function without you, that they are falling apart, and that they need you in their life. This emotional manipulation is designed to make you feel guilty and responsible for their well-being, in the hopes that you will break the no contact rule to “save” them.

Find new supply

When a narcissist realises that you are no longer providing them with the attention and validation they crave, they will quickly move on to find a new source of narcissistic supply. They may start dating someone new, surround themselves with adoring friends, or throw themselves into work or other interests. By finding new supply, the narcissist hopes to distract themselves from the pain of rejection and boost their fragile ego.

Ghosting

If all else fails, a narcissist may resort to ghosting you in return. They may simply disappear without explanation, cutting off all contact and leaving you wondering what happened. This silent treatment is a form of emotional manipulation, designed to make you feel anxious, confused, and desperate for their attention. By ghosting you, the narcissist hopes to regain control over the situation and force you to reach out to them.

In conclusion, going no contact with a narcissist can be a challenging and emotionally draining experience. Narcissists will often resort to covert behaviours in an attempt to break the no-contact rule and regain control over you. By recognising these behaviours and staying strong in your decision to cut off contact, you can protect your mental and emotional well-being and move forward with your life. Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness, and you have the power to set boundaries and prioritise your own happiness.

12 Covert Behaviours Of A Narcissist When You Go No Contact