Mind Games of Narcissists: How Manipulation Tactics Keep Victims Trapped in Abuse

Narcissists are masters of manipulation, using psychological tactics to keep their victims trapped in a toxic cycle of abuse. Through a series of mind games, they exploit their victim’s vulnerabilities, erode their self-esteem, and maintain control over their emotions, thoughts, and actions.

These mind games are designed to confuse, manipulate, and disempower the victim, making them doubt themselves and their reality. The narcissist creates a distorted version of reality, where they are the victim and the hero, while the actual victim is made to feel like the villain or the one at fault.

One of the most common mind games narcissists play is gaslighting. Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which the narcissist undermines the victim’s perceptions, memory, and sanity. They will deny things they have said or done and make the victim doubt their own memories and perceptions. They may also twist the truth, fabricate stories, and manipulate facts to make the victim question their own reality.

Gaslighting can be extremely damaging to the victim’s mental health and well-being. It can lead to feelings of confusion, self-doubt, and isolation. The victim may start to question their own thoughts and feelings and may even start to believe that they are the ones who are crazy or irrational. Gaslighting can also erode the victim’s sense of self-worth and self-esteem, making them more vulnerable to further manipulation and abuse.

Another mind game narcissists play is projection. Projection is a defence mechanism in which the narcissist attributes their own negative traits, feelings, and behaviours onto their victim. They may accuse the victim of being selfish, manipulative, or abusive when in fact, it is the narcissist who is exhibiting these behaviours. By projecting their own faults onto the victim, the narcissist is able to avoid taking responsibility for their actions and maintain their self-image as a perfect and faultless individual.

Projection can have a profound impact on the victim’s sense of self-worth and identity. The constant accusations and blame can make them feel guilty, ashamed, and unworthy. They may start to internalise the narcissist’s projections and believe that they are indeed the ones who are at fault. This can further erode the victim’s self-esteem and make them more susceptible to the narcissist’s manipulations.

Another mind game narcissists play is love bombing. Love bombing is a manipulation tactic in which the narcissist showers the victim with love, attention, and affection in order to gain their trust and loyalty. They may compliment the victim, buy them gifts, and profess their undying love and devotion. This sudden and intense display of affection can be overwhelming and intoxicating for the victim, making them feel unique, valued, and loved.

However, love bombing is often a form of manipulation used by narcissists to control and manipulate their victims. Once the victim is hooked and emotionally invested in the relationship, the narcissist may start to withdraw their affection, become distant, or even become emotionally abusive. This can create a cycle of love and rejection, in which the victim is constantly striving to earn the narcissist’s love and approval while also being subjected to their emotional abuse and manipulation.

Silent treatments are another common mind game used by narcissists. The narcissist will suddenly and without explanation ignore, avoid, or withhold communication from their victim. This can leave the victim feeling confused, hurt, and anxious, as they are left to wonder what they did wrong or why the narcissist is no longer speaking to them.

The silent treatment is a form of emotional manipulation used by narcissists to assert control over their victims and punish them for perceived wrongdoings. It is a way for the narcissist to exert power and dominance in the relationship while also testing the victim’s loyalty and devotion. The victim may try to seek out the narcissist’s attention and approval, going to great lengths to break the silence and make amends.

However, the silent treatment can be incredibly damaging to the victim’s mental and emotional well-being. It can create feelings of rejection, abandonment, and isolation, leading to anxiety, depression, and self-doubt. The victim may start to question their own worth and value, blaming themselves for the narcissist’s silence and trying desperately to win back their approval.

Another mind game that narcissists often use is triangulation. Triangulation is a manipulation tactic in which the narcissist involves a third party, such as a friend, family member, or ex-partner, in the relationship in order to create jealousy, insecurity, and competition. By bringing in another person, the narcissist can undermine the victim’s confidence, stability, and sense of security in the relationship.

Through triangulation, the narcissist may use the third party to compare the victim unfavourably, trigger feelings of inadequacy, or create tension and conflict in the relationship. This can leave the victim feeling insecure, paranoid, and desperate to prove their worth and value to the narcissist. The constant presence of a third party can also make the victim feel like they are in competition for the narcissist’s attention and affection, further fueling feelings of jealousy, betrayal, and inadequacy.

Gaslighting by proxy is another insidious tactic that narcissists use to manipulate and control their victims. In this form of gaslighting, the narcissist enlists the help of others, such as friends, family members, or colleagues, to further undermine the victim’s perceptions and reality.

The narcissist may spread lies, rumours, or misinformation about the victim, turning those around them against the victim and causing them to doubt their own credibility. By manipulating the victim’s social circle, the narcissist is able to isolate the victim and make them feel alone, powerless, and invalidated.

Gaslighting by proxy can have a devastating impact on the victim’s mental health and well-being. The constant attacks on their character and reputation can erode their self-esteem, confidence, and sense of reality. The victim may feel paranoid, anxious, and distressed, constantly questioning their own experiences and interactions with others.

The tactic of Changing the goalposts is another mind game narcissists use to maintain control over their victims. This tactic constantly shifts the expectations, demands, or requirements in a relationship or situation, making it difficult for the victim to ever meet them. The narcissist may set unrealistic goals, change the rules of the game, or move the goalposts whenever the victim gets close to achieving them.

By constantly changing the goalposts, the narcissist keeps the victim in a state of confusion, insecurity, and uncertainty. The victim may never feel good enough, successful enough, or worthy of the narcissist’s approval, no matter how hard they try. This can lead to feelings of frustration, powerlessness, and self-doubt, as the victim is constantly chasing after an ever-changing target.

Changing the goalposts can also be used by the narcissist as a way to avoid accountability and responsibility. By constantly moving the goalposts, they can shift the blame onto the victim for not meeting their impossible standards rather than taking ownership of their own actions or behaviours. This can further erode the victim’s self-esteem and make them more susceptible to the narcissist’s manipulations and control.

In conclusion, dealing with a narcissist can be a challenging and emotionally draining experience. It is important to recognise the mind games they play and not to internalise the false narratives they create. Seeking support from a therapist, counsellor, or support group can be helpful in navigating the complexities of a relationship with a narcissist. Remember to prioritise your own mental health and well-being and to set boundaries to protect yourself from further manipulation and abuse. Remember that you deserve to be treated with respect, love, and kindness and that you are not responsible for the unhealthy and toxic behaviour of a narcissist. Stay strong and seek help if needed. https://betterhelp.com/elizabethshaw

Check these out!

15 Rules To Deal With Narcissistic People.: How To Stay Sane And Break The Chain.

Narcissists Handbook: The ultimate guide to understanding and overcoming narcissistic and emotional abuse.-1

Boundaries with Narcissists: Safeguarding Emotional, Psychological, and Physical Independence.

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