The toxic dance between a narcissist and their victim is a complex and intricate pattern of manipulation and control. One of the key ways in which narcissists maintain their power over their victims is through the use of anger. Narcissists have a way of provoking their victims into becoming angry and then using that anger to their advantage.
When a victim reacts with anger to the narcissist’s manipulative behaviour, it provides the narcissist with a sense of power and control. They are able to see the impact that their actions have had on their victim, and it reinforces their belief that they have control over them. This sense of power and control is essential to the narcissist’s sense of self-importance, and by provoking their victim into anger, they are able to maintain this illusion of control.
Furthermore, when a victim becomes angry in response to a narcissist’s behaviour, it distracts from the manipulative tactics that the narcissist is using. Instead of focusing on the narcissist’s actions, the victim is caught up in their own emotions, allowing the narcissist to continue their behaviour unchecked. This distraction also serves to make the victim look like the problem, as they are the one who is reacting with anger rather than the narcissist who is causing the harm.
In addition, when a victim becomes angry, it allows the narcissist to play the victim themselves. They can point to the victim’s anger as evidence of their own innocence and use it to further manipulate the situation in their favour. By painting themselves as the victim, the narcissist is able to avoid taking responsibility for their actions, and can instead continue to manipulate and control their victim.
By provoking their victim into anger, narcissists are able to reinforce their beliefs that they matter to their victim. When someone becomes angry in response to a narcissist’s behaviour, the narcissist sees it as a sign that they care about the relationship and are invested in it. This gives the narcissist a sense of validation and importance and feeds their need for attention and admiration.
Furthermore, when a victim reacts with anger, it provides the narcissist with ammunition against them. They can use the victim’s anger as a way to manipulate and control them further, and to make them feel guilty or ashamed for reacting in such a way. This gives the narcissist even more power over their victim and allows them to continue their toxic behaviour unchecked.
Finally, by provoking their victim into anger, narcissists are able to maintain a facade of control. They are able to portray themselves as calm and collected, while their victim is seen as the one who is out of control. This allows the narcissist to continue their manipulative behaviour without fear of being exposed and gives them a sense of power and superiority over their victim.
For the victim, dealing with the anger that is provoked by a narcissist can be challenging and overwhelming. It is important to take a step back and pause before reacting to give yourself time to calm down and regain your composure. Taking deep breaths and focusing on your own well-being can help to prevent the anger from escalating and being used against you by the narcissist.
If you find yourself feeling angry in response to a narcissist’s behaviour, it can be helpful to write out your feelings in a message but not send them. This can help to release some of the anger and frustration that you are feeling, without allowing the narcissist to use your reactions against you. Narcissists hate being kept waiting, so by delaying your response, you are denying them the ammunition that they are seeking.
It is also important to recognise the game that the narcissist is playing and to refuse to give them what they want – your anger. By refusing to react in the way that they are expecting, you are taking back control of the situation and denying them the power that they are seeking. It can be helpful to find healthy ways to release your anger, such as screaming into a pillow or punching a punching bag, away from the narcissist.
While letting your anger out in the moment can feel good, it is important to remember that reacting with anger to a narcissist’s behaviour can have negative consequences. After the anger has passed, you may find yourself feeling regretful for how you reacted, and the narcissist may use your anger against you in the future. It is important to find healthy ways to cope with the anger that the narcissist provokes and to take back control over your own emotions and reactions.
In conclusion, the toxic dance between a narcissist and their victim can be a challenging and complex pattern of manipulation and control. By provoking their victim into anger, narcissists are able to maintain a sense of power and control over them, distract from their own manipulative behaviours, and reinforce their own sense of self-importance. It is important for victims to recognise the game that the narcissist is playing and to find healthy ways to cope with the anger that is provoked by their behaviour. By taking back control over their own emotions and reactions, victims can begin to break free from the toxic cycle of manipulation and control, and reclaim their own sense of power and autonomy.
The Toxic Dance: How You’re Angry Reactions Fuel A Narcissist.
Check these out!
15 Rules To Deal With Narcissistic People.: How To Stay Sane And Break The Chain.
Narcissists Handbook: The ultimate guide to understanding and overcoming narcissistic and emotional abuse.-1
Boundaries with Narcissists: Safeguarding Emotional, Psychological, and Physical Independence.
(Sponsored.). https://betterhelp.com/elizabethshaw
Advertisements
Click on the links below to join Elizabeth Shaw – Life Coach, on social media for more information on Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse.
The online courses are available by Elizabeth Shaw.
For the full course.
For the free course.
Click here to sign up for the free online starter course.
To help with overcoming the trauma bond and anxiety course.
Click here for the online course to help you break the trauma bond, and those anxiety triggers.
All about the narcissist Online course.
Click here to learn more about the narcissist personality disorder.
The narcissists counter-parenting.
Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.
