When dealing with a narcissist, it can be extremely challenging to call them out on their behaviour. Narcissists are known for their manipulation and mind games, and when you confront them, they often resort to even more toxic tactics. In this article, we will delve into the top 8 mind games played by a narcissist when you call them out and offer some strategies on how to handle these situations.
We often want to call a narcissist out because their behaviour and attitude can be damaging to those around them. We can feel by holding them accountable for their actions. We can help prevent further harm and protect ourselves and others from their manipulation. However, when dealing with a narcissist, it’s best to avoid them if possible because their behaviour can be toxic and draining, and engaging with them can often lead to further conflict and negative outcomes. It’s best to prioritise our own well-being and avoid unnecessary conflict.
- Unjust Accusations:
When you call a narcissist out on their behaviour, they may respond by making unjust accusations against you. They will try to shift the focus away from their own actions and instead make it seem like you are the one at fault. For example, if you confront a narcissist about their dishonesty, they may accuse you of being overly suspicious or paranoid.
How to handle it: The key to dealing with unjust accusations is to stay calm and collected. It’s important not to get defensive or engage in a he-said-she-said argument. Instead, maintain your composure and calmly remove yourself from the situation. It’s also important to set psychological boundaries and not allow the narcissist to twist the narrative or manipulate the situation.
- Playing the Victim:
When a narcissist is called out, they may play the victim in order to garner sympathy and deflect blame. They may become overly emotional, cry, or act as if they are deeply hurt by your accusations. This tactic is designed to make you feel guilty and question your own judgment.
How to handle it: It’s important not to fall for this manipulation. Remind yourself that the narcissist is skilled at playing the victim to avoid taking responsibility for their actions. Stay firm in your convictions and avoid getting drawn into their emotional theatrics. It’s also important to focus on your own well-being and not let the narcissist’s fake emotions cloud your judgment.
- Blame Shifting:
Another common mind game played by narcissists when called out is blame shifting. They will try to deflect responsibility onto others or external factors in an attempt to excuse their own behaviour. For example, if you confront a narcissist about their lack of accountability, they may blame their past experiences, upbringing, or other people for their actions.
How to handle it: When dealing with blame-shifting, it’s important to stay focused on the facts and not get sidetracked by the narcissist’s attempts to shift the blame. Stick to the issue at hand, and don’t allow them to distract you with their excuses. It’s also important to hold them accountable and not let them off the hook for their behaviour. This often means safely removing yourself from their life so they don’t have an opportunity to hurt you again.
- Gaslighting:
Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic used by narcissists to make you doubt your own reality. When you call out a narcissist, they may try to gaslight you by denying their actions or making you feel like you are imagining things. They may say things like, “I never said that,” or “You’re overreacting.”
How to handle it: The best way to counter gaslighting is to trust your own instincts and seek validation from others. Keep a record of the narcissist’s behaviour and interactions to help reinforce your own sense of reality. It’s also important to distance yourself from the narcissist if possible and seek support from friends or a therapist to help you maintain your mental clarity.
- False Promises:
When a narcissist is called out, they may resort to making false promises as a way to pacify you and avoid further confrontation. They may promise to change their behaviour or seek help, but these promises are often empty and never materialise.
How to handle it: It’s important to recognise false promises for what they are and not be lured into the narcissist’s false sense of hope. Instead, be prepared that the narcissist will not follow through on their promises and have a plan in place to protect yourself.
- Denial:
Narcissists have a strong aversion to admitting fault or taking responsibility for their actions. When called out, they may deny any wrongdoing and refuse to acknowledge the impact of their behaviour on others. They may say things like, “I didn’t do anything wrong,” or “You’re blowing things out of proportion.”
How to handle it: Dealing with denial requires a strong stance and clear communication. It’s essential to present the narcissist with evidence of their behaviour and not allow them to dismiss or downplay the situation. It’s also important to set boundaries and not engage in fruitless arguments with the narcissist. Instead, focus on your own well-being and seek support from others to help validate your experience.
- Projecting:
When confronted, narcissists may engage in projecting, where they attribute their own negative traits or behaviour onto others. They may accuse you of being controlling, manipulative, or dishonest, even though these are the very traits they possess.
How to handle it: When dealing with projection, it’s important to stay grounded in your own reality and not internalise the narcissist’s projection. Remind yourself that the narcissist is projecting their own insecurities onto you, and do not take their accusations to heart. It’s also important to maintain your boundaries and not allow the narcissist to gaslight or manipulate you.
- Silence:
One of the most insidious mind games played by narcissists when called out is silence. They may refuse to engage in further discussion or completely ignore your attempts to address the issue. This tactic is designed to make you second-guess yourself and seek validation from the narcissist.
How to handle it: Dealing with silence from a narcissist requires you to take back your power and not rely on their validation or acknowledgement. It’s important to focus on your own well-being and not get caught up in seeking closure from the narcissist. Instead, surround yourself with supportive people who can validate your experience and provide the emotional support you need.
In conclusion, calling out a narcissist can be a daunting and emotionally draining experience. However, by being aware of the mind games they may play and employing the strategies outlined in this article, you can better navigate these difficult situations. It’s important to prioritise your own mental and emotional well-being and seek support from loved ones or a professional if needed. Remember that you are not alone in dealing with a narcissist, and there are resources available to help you through this challenging experience.
Check these out!
15 Rules To Deal With Narcissistic People.: How To Stay Sane And Break The Chain.
Narcissists Handbook: The ultimate guide to understanding and overcoming narcissistic and emotional abuse.-1
Boundaries with Narcissists: Safeguarding Emotional, Psychological, and Physical Independence.
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Narcissists Do These 9 Things When You Call Them Out. (Understanding Narcissism.) #narcissist
