Narcissists playing by their own rules is a concept that many people, unfortunately, have to deal with in their personal and professional lives. Whether it’s a spouse, family member, friend, or boss, dealing with someone who exhibits narcissistic behaviour can be incredibly challenging. One of the most frustrating aspects of dealing with a narcissist is the double standards that they often employ in their interactions with others. In this article, we will explore the various ways in which narcissists play by their own rules and how these double standards reveal the toxic nature of their behaviour.
One of the most glaring double standards that narcissists often exhibit is their ability to impress and charm strangers while simultaneously discouraging their victims from interacting with friends and family. Narcissists are often skilled at presenting a charming and appealing facade to people outside of their inner circle. They may be the life of the party, the centre of attention, and the one who everyone admires. However, behind closed doors, they may discourage their victims from spending time with loved ones, constantly criticising and belittling their relationships with friends and family. This double standard allows the narcissist to maintain control over their victim, isolating them and making them dependent on the narcissist for validation and approval.
Behind The Mask: The Rise Of A Narcissist
In addition to controlling who their victims can interact with, narcissists also hold themselves to a different set of rules when it comes to their behaviour. They may lie, cheat, steal, mock, humiliate, criticise, and judge their victims without any remorse or accountability. However, if their victims were to engage in similar behaviour, the narcissist would react with anger and resentment or even escalate the abuse. This double standard allows the narcissist to maintain a position of power and control over their victims while simultaneously denying them the ability to hold the narcissist accountable for their actions.
Another double standard that narcissists often employ is their refusal to forgive their victims for finding out the truth about them. Narcissists are notorious for their ability to manipulate and deceive others, and when their victims uncover their lies and manipulation, the narcissist will often react with rage and retaliation. In contrast, the narcissist expects to be forgiven for their transgressions without having to show any genuine remorse or take responsibility for their actions. This double standard allows the narcissist to avoid facing the consequences of their behaviour while simultaneously punishing their victims for daring to challenge their perception of reality.
Furthermore, narcissists often believe that it is acceptable for them to react to their victims, claiming that their victims “made them do it” through their behaviour or actions. However, if their victims were to react to the narcissist’s behaviour, they would be labelled as “crazy” or “overreacting”. This double standard allows the narcissist to maintain a sense of superiority and control while denying their victims the right to express their emotions and defend themselves against the narcissist’s abuse.
Additionally, narcissists often feel entitled to question their victims’ behaviour, intentions, and motives while simultaneously refusing to allow their victims to question their own behaviour. This double standard allows the narcissist to maintain a position of authority and control, while denying their victims the ability to hold the narcissist accountable for their actions.
Moreover, narcissists also employ a double standard when it comes to accusations. They may unjustly accuse their victims of various transgressions without any evidence or basis for their claims. However, if their victims were to accuse the narcissist of similar behaviour, they would be met with denial, gaslighting, or further manipulation. This double standard allows the narcissist to maintain a sense of superiority and control, while denying their victims the ability to challenge or question the narcissist’s behaviour.
Furthermore, narcissists often refuse to apologise for their behaviour, placing the blame on their victims and claiming that their behaviour was a reaction to their victims’ actions. However, the narcissist expects their victims to apologise for “making” the narcissist treat them poorly. This double standard allows the narcissist to avoid taking responsibility for their actions while simultaneously denying their victims the ability to seek genuine remorse and accountability from the narcissist.
Finally, narcissists often demand to be ahead of their victims in all aspects of their lives, whether it’s in terms of success, achievements, or relationships. However, the narcissist will often become enraged if their victims were to surpass them in any way, viewing it as a threat to their grandiosity and superiority. This double standard allows the narcissist to maintain a position of power and control, while denying their victims the opportunity to thrive and succeed outside of the narcissist’s influence.
In conclusion, the double standards that narcissists often employ in their interactions with others reveal the toxic nature of their behaviour. By holding themselves to a different set of rules and expectations than they do for their victims, narcissists are able to maintain a position of power and control while denying their victims the ability to hold the narcissist accountable for their actions. Recognising these double standards and the toxic behaviour of narcissists is the first step in breaking free from their manipulation and reclaiming one’s autonomy and self-worth.
Here are some self-help strategies to cope with someone like this:
- Set boundaries: Recognize and enforce boundaries with the narcissist, especially when it comes to interactions and behaviour that are harmful to you.
- Seek support: Seek the support of friends, family, or a therapist who can help you navigate the challenges of dealing with a narcissist and provide you with the emotional support you need.
- Educate yourself: Learn about narcissistic behaviour and manipulation tactics so that you can recognise them when they occur and respond appropriately.
- Practice self-care: Take care of your physical, emotional, and mental well-being by engaging in activities that bring you joy, practising mindfulness, and setting aside time for self-reflection.
- Build a support network: Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you and who understand the challenges of dealing with a narcissist.
- Detach emotionally: Recognise that the behaviour of the narcissist is not a reflection of your worth or value, and try to detach emotionally from their manipulative tactics.
- Practice assertiveness: If it’s safe to do so, Stand up for yourself and assert your needs and boundaries in a calm and assertive manner without escalating conflicts or engaging in power struggles.
- Seek professional help: If the situation becomes unmanageable, consider seeking professional help to navigate through the challenges of dealing with a narcissist and to develop coping strategies for your mental health. (Sponsored.). https://betterhelp.com/elizabethshaw
Check these out!
Behind The Mask: The Rise Of A Narcissist
15 Rules To Deal With Narcissistic People.: How To Stay Sane And Break The Chain.
Narcissists Handbook: The ultimate guide to understanding and overcoming narcissistic and emotional abuse.-1
Boundaries with Narcissists: Safeguarding Emotional, Psychological, and Physical Independence.
Healing from Narcissistic Abuse: A Guided Journal for Recovery and Empowerment: Reclaim Your Identity, Build Self-Esteem, and Embrace a Brighter Future
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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.
When Narcissists Play By Their Own Rules | The Narcissists Double Standards.
