Narcissists are individuals who have an inflated sense of self-importance, a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. They often manipulate and exploit those around them to meet their own needs and desires. One of the ways in which narcissists exert control over others is by alternating between behaviour that hurts, blames, rescues, and expects eternal gratitude, admiration, and praise in return. In this article, we will explore each of these behaviours in detail and provide examples of how they manifest in relationships with narcissists.
Hurt You:
One of the primary tactics used by narcissists to maintain control in a relationship is to hurt the other person emotionally, physically or psychologically. This can take many forms, such as verbal abuse, gaslighting, manipulation, and withholding of affection or approval. By hurting the other person, the narcissist is able to assert their dominance and superiority, while simultaneously making the other person feel weak, insecure, and dependent on them for validation.
For example, a narcissistic partner may constantly criticise and belittle their significant other, pointing out flaws and shortcomings in order to undermine their self-esteem. They may also manipulate the other person by making them feel guilty or responsible for their negative behaviour. This can create a cycle of emotional abuse in which the narcissist maintains power over the other person by keeping them in a state of fear, confusion, and self-doubt.
Blame You:
In addition to hurting their victims, narcissists also frequently blame others for their own shortcomings and mistakes. This behaviour is known as projection, and it allows the narcissist to shift the focus away from their own flaws and insecurities onto the other person. By blaming others, the narcissist is able to avoid taking responsibility for their actions and avoid facing the truth about themselves.
For example, a narcissistic boss may blame their employees for their own poor management skills or lack of success in the workplace. They may criticise and berate their employees for perceived failures while refusing to acknowledge their own role in creating a toxic work environment. This behaviour can have damaging effects on the mental health and well-being of the employees, who are left feeling helpless, frustrated, and unappreciated.
Rescue You:
Despite their tendency to hurt and blame others, narcissists also have a manipulative side that can be more subtle and insidious. One of how they exert control over their victims is by playing the role of the rescuer, swooping in to save the other person from a perceived threat or danger. This behaviour is known as love bombing, and it is a common tactic used by narcissists to gain the trust, loyalty, and admiration from their victims.
For example, a narcissistic friend may come to the rescue of their best friend after a breakup, offering a shoulder to cry on and a listening ear. They may shower their friend with gifts, compliments, and attention in an effort to win their favour and solidify their position as a trusted confidant. This behaviour can be confusing and contradictory, as the narcissist alternates between hurting and rescuing the other person, creating a sense of emotional dependency and manipulation.
Expect Eternal Gratitude, Admiration, and Praise:
One of the most insidious aspects of narcissistic behaviour is the expectation of eternal gratitude, admiration, and praise from their victims. Narcissists have a constant need for validation and approval from others, and they will stop at nothing to achieve this goal. They may use a combination of hurtful, blaming, and rescuing behaviours to manipulate their victims into providing them with the adoration and admiration they crave.
For example, a narcissistic parent may constantly remind their child of all the sacrifices they have made on their behalf, expecting eternal gratitude and obedience in return. They may guilt-trip their child into fulfilling their every desire and demand, using emotional manipulation and coercion to maintain control over them. This behaviour can have long-lasting effects on the child’s self-esteem and self-worth, as they struggle to break free from the cycle of abuse and manipulation.
In conclusion, narcissists are individuals who use a combination of hurtful, blaming, rescuing, and demanding behaviours to maintain control over their victims. By providing examples of behaviour that alternate between these tactics, narcissists are able to manipulate and exploit those around them to meet their own needs and desires. It is important for individuals who find themselves in relationships with narcissists to recognize these behaviors and seek help and support in order to break free from the cycle of abuse and manipulation.
Check these out!
15 Rules To Deal With Narcissistic People.: How To Stay Sane And Break The Chain.
Narcissists Handbook: The ultimate guide to understanding and overcoming narcissistic and emotional abuse.-1
Boundaries with Narcissists: Safeguarding Emotional, Psychological, and Physical Independence.
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Rules To Deal With Narcissistic People. (Understanding Narcissism.)
