The narcissists’ stare.
When you first meet them, you may believe they have the most loving and caring eyes, and you see what you want to see, it’s all an act, they are just mirroring you, to draw you deeper into their games.
They have learned and can mirror how people act and behave, but if you pay close attention to their eyes, they can not fake how their eyes look.
Yet in the Idealisation, they have a way to hold your gaze and mirror it by using actions and words, it’s intense, creating a deep connection, the true depth to their eyes.
Yet after a while, they can no longer maintain their Admiration face.
I can remember the first date. They had me drawn into their eyes like nobody else was in the room. It felt odd, yet it felt natural at the same time, probably because they were telling me we had such a great connection.
A few months later at a party, I remember feeling someone watching me, when I turned it was the narcissist, yet they didn’t acknowledge me looking back at them, they seemed deep in thought, my instinct tried to tell me something, but as I couldn’t work out what it was I made excuses.
Once when I was heartbroken and crying, over something the narcissist had done, something made me look up, they were intensely staring at me, I actually looked away. I felt on edge, I just couldn’t work out what the look was like they were there, yet they were not, no comfort offered, they just sat soaking up all the emotions that they had made me feel although I didn’t see it at the time.
When I questioned them about something, with evidence, of things they actually did do, their eyes went black, and my blood ran cold. That look is something out of this world, and it chills you.
Sometimes when you look closely into their eyes there seems to be nothing there, they have an empty gaze, or a strange stare, that chilling look they give you, that chills the entire room, and your soul. If you carefully look into their eyes, there is a kind of void in there, that before you know and understand it, you put it down to someone who’s just going through some stuff, yet deep down, there isn’t anything truly there, other than hatred, anger and Envy.
As you get further into the relationship, you notice just how empty their eyes are, yet with the games they play, you can not work it out, you don’t see it for what they indeed are, until your out, and work it all out. Then you understand what your instincts were trying to tell you at the time.
The saying that people’s eyes are the window to the soul is true. Yet, for some reason the narcissists’ soul is so damaged and so deeply hidden, no matter how hard you look into those eyes, once you know, you’ll remember that their eyes did seem soulless and that’s what your instinct was trying to tell you.
When you think back, you’ll remember those times of need, their eyes were dead, yes they can smile and have the crows feet as people do have them when they smile, yet it’s most often more of a Smirk and a falseness to it, the same as when they cry, they may even shed a tear, although I never noticed my narc shed a tear. Instead, they wiped their eyes just underneath, to look they were removing a tear that actually didn’t even exist.
Their stare of pure hatred at the time it is exceptionally unsettling and frightening, it’s incredibly unnatural, and like the person, you believed them to be has vanished. You’re left with that body and a person you simply do not know.
That’s because the person you thought they were was you, they were simply mirroring you, then the admiration face slips and the envious face appears revealing who they truly are.
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Elizabeth Shaw is not a Doctor or a therapist. She is a mother of five, a blogger, a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and a life coach, She always recommends you get the support you feel comfortable and happy with. Finding the right support for you. Elizabeth has partnered with BetterHelp (Sponsored.) where you will be matched with a licensed councillor, who specialises in recovery from this kind of abuse.