Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse. By Elizabeth Shaw – Life Coach.
Life is hard when you lose your job.
Life is hard when you lose your home.
Life is hard, and when you put all your hopes and dreams and passion, into something and it doesn’t work out, possibly losing everything.
Life is hard when you’ve got bills to pay and mouths to feed, yet you’ve got no income coming in.
Life is hard when you don’t see what is happening to you.
Life is hard. When you fail that exam, you put everything into.
Life is hard when you lose someone you love.
Life his hard, when you get cheated on.
Life is hard when you’re left, trauma bonded.
Life is hard when you don’t know where to turn, or who to turn to.
Life is hard when you’re left hurt, in pain and feeling slightly crazy.
Life is hard, just handling the Tragedies that happen in life.
Life is hard when you have anxiety.
Life is hard when you have CPTSD.
Life is hard. When you put absolutely everything into it, and it just doesn’t work out, the way you wanted it to, possibly losing everything, including yourself.
Life is hard when your son comes home to say ” Daddy says I don’t have to listen to you and to pour boiling water on your face.” life is hard as how do you let a child see a parent who takes things to dangerous extremes, if our child had acted, our child would have needed to live with that act for the rest of his life.) life is hard as when your beliefs are children should be able to see both parents, the argument is not with the child it’s with the parents, life is hard when one parent wants to bring the children into the middle continually, narcissists don’t Co-parent they Counter parent, they do not care for the damage caused to the child’s mind, so long as they are getting to you.
It can be hard, humiliating and embarrassing, explaining to others, who don’t understand, it can hit your ego asking for help.
It’s hard how others respond to you, even the way they look at you, and it’s hard.
In life, it takes you on journeys where you are going through heartbreaking, tough times, and you’ve no idea as to why it’s happening to you.
Life is hard when your five years old tells you they want to die when your five years old has signs and symptoms of, depression and anxiety, and you’ve failed to spot them, failed to work out why, and it’s even harder when you wake up to see the problem could be the other parent.
One thing I learnt on a journey of rediscovery, with some incredible online friends, is we all go through the hard times, people’s Facebook walls might be plastered with life is perfect pictures and status updates, but we never truly know what’s going on behind closed doors, sometimes adults and children just need a little extra support, a little help and some positivity to see them through to better days, a little less time spent around negative, manipulative people, Out of all the things I learned was when my child told me he wanted to Die when my son said he wanted to jump off the school roof, to die, which crushed me more than anything ever has. Was to go chat to my son and rephrase some things, turns out in my incredible five-year-olds mind, who was struggling with so many stressful situations, that was out of his control in such a young child, that wanting to jump off the school roof in his mind meant, he wanted to try some parkouring, when he said he wanted to die, he wanted some time and space to be alone with his thoughts and figure things out.
With limited contact, then to no contact with the narcissistic parent, lots of praise love and positivity, child phycologist, and a lady who worked with him in school, so he can also vent about me to people in his confused young world, the little man, no longer gets tummy pain, no longer sleeps in till past 11 if allowed, no longer fears leaving the house, is rushing to actually put his shoes on and go out on adventures, will dress himself, his eyes now light up a room when he smiles, he’s been signed off from the Doctors, the child psychologist and the team that was working with him in school.
He’s now happy.
Sometimes in life, no matter how hard it is to understand, we needed a lesson, and these lessons are hard, they can be extremely painful and devastating, we have a choice to let them go through us and take us down, or learn from them, grow through them, then when you get through it, you see it was all just to prepare you, for bigger and better things, as you go through the day to day, struggles and the great challenges of life that head your way.
That lesson at that moment in time was extremely painful and hard, never knowing what would come next, what was the best thing to do all around. What was the best choice? What was the right choice? What can I change to make it ok for the boys to see dad? I tried until I could try no more.
Going through the situation from the ex telling me. ”its all your fault. You’re crazy, he shouldn’t be around you, ill evaluate him.” then threats of. ”ill make you disappear if you carry on.” all because I got our son a psychologist to help him, non-molestation orders, silent treatments not answering messages on what time he was getting kids, claiming to work on arranged days, so couldn’t see them, then being on end of the road yet still not seeing them, dropping late, the hair cuts. ( which I know bothers a few, to me its hair it grows, when bothers me is dads intentions when our son asks. ” do you really like it daddy said you would hate it.” telling them he would pick them up not showing and blaming me to the boys, playing negative songs on repeat and telling the boys ”daddy wants you to listen.” and so many more mind game. Is enough to send adults crazy, let alone children.
Been torn between doing the right thing of boys growing up knowing dad. (as my eldest three always saw their dad, and he is unique enough.) and doing the right thing for their mental health is hard.
We all want it easy, what’s easy? Easy come easy go.
When hard things come your way, it’s a test for yourself, to step up, to grasp it, to face it head-on, no matter how hard, no matter how scared, and deal with it, the best you possibly can.
Sometimes you have just to drag yourself back up, embrace and learn from your mistakes, lose your pride and ego, admit you need some help.
You have to deal with the difficult times, and do it how you do it, sometimes you have a choice in life that you don’t want to make, sometimes those tough choices, that you don’t want to make, once you make them will be the best choice you ever made. If it’s hard, go and do it hard. Drive yourself forward to achieve your hopes and your dreams, don’t stop until you do, when you do keep going, keep pushing, stay focused, stay driven.
Learning about life and things, you don’t want to know about, learning truths you don’t want to hear, so you can get to the place you’re meant to be.
Sometimes in life, you have to go around in those circles, jump through those hoops, learn the hard way, even if you didn’t deserve it because you’re a good-hearted caring person.
Sometimes you have to hold your hands up and give up, stop going around in those circles expecting change to happen.
Albert Einstein’s “ life is like riding a bicycle to keep your balance, and you must keep moving.”
Stop going around in circles and keep moving forward, keep learning, keep going, keep growing.
You have to feed your ideas, and you have to keep developing them working on them, You have to have patience, great change doesn’t happen overnight, You have to believe in your abilities, believe in yourself, trust in you. Keep driving, and you have to believe in your ideas, you have to trust your instinct. Handle hard times as they come along, embrace them to move past them, they are preparing you for better things, listen to your instinct, speak your truth.
Most importantly take action, then keep going, when you don’t see instant results, don’t stop, when you get a setback, don’t stop, if you’ve given up on you before, how well did that work out for you?
Give up on those who are unable or unwilling to see their own faults, issues, or problems, give up on those who blame those around them, for everything that’s wrong in their life, give up on those who you’ve tried to help countless time, to just lose another piece of who you are.
You can learn, you can change, you can love, you can help those willing to accept help, you can dream, you can achieve those dreams when you put your time and effort into it.
Never ever give up on your passions, your hopes and your dreams, even if you have to change direction and create new ones, new destinations bring new possibilities.
Never ever leave the lesson behind, take why you can from it, then leave the mistake behind,
Never ever regret anything, find what good came out of it no matter how small or how big, take that with you.
Never ever give up on you.
Join me on social media.
Click the link below for the full online course to help you understand and overcome narcissistic abuse, with a link inside to free access for the hidden online support group, with daily advice and support from me, alongside other survivors doing the course.
free online starter course for help with overcoming narcissistic abuse.
Help with Overcoming trauma bonding and anxiety online course.
All about the narcissist Online course.
For 1-2-1 Coaching with me, email @ firstname.lastname@example.org
Time to take care of yourself first.