Before you judge.
When you’re out shopping, and you see a child, not only throwing a tantrum, lashing out at the parents, throwing things off the shelves, spitting and swearing, yet the child is only four, what are the parents teaching this child?
You may want to intervene, you may want to tell the parent to step up, you may hear others whispering to each other about it.
Stop you’ve no idea, you’ve no idea if the child has autism, you’ve no idea if the child has ADHD, you’ve no idea what that child has witnessed in its short life, you’ve no idea what’s happened in that child’s life, you’ve no idea why the child is lashing out. You’ve no idea what the parent has been through, you’ve no idea what the parent has to do, just to get the child out of the house, you’ve no idea how drained that parent is, you’ve no idea how sacred that parent is, you’ve no idea how hard it was for that parent to leave the house.
You may feel annoyed as that child spits on your shoe, you may feel irritated, as you are trying to reach a loaf of bread and that child swipes them all onto the floor.
Things are not always as they seem, sometimes those assumptions about others are only our thoughts, we judge others, label them for being bad at this, that or the other, pop them into a box, yet we don’t even know that person. Never realising that’s there is a much bigger picture to the story of those around us, we stereotype others based on first sight.
Stop judging so quickly, you never know when you may find yourself walking in those shoes.
If you come across that situation, go and let the parent know it’s ok, tell them you’d like to help but don’t know how to let them know they’re not alone, let them know they are doing amazing, picking them up with words will help them find strength, to know not only are they not alone in this, that others care and are around to help.
Instead of pulling others apart, start helping them piece it back together.
Don’t judge, when it comes to a narcissist ex, you gave it your all, you changed yourself so many times, and nothing worked, now it time to change your behaviour towards them for one last time, no contact, minimal grey rock, if you have children, no positively, no negativity, just freedom to be yourself.
You have got this, you can and you will recover.