Overcoming narcissist Abuse, by Elizabeth Shaw.
Narcissist and their belongings.
Narcissist love playing games with their belongings that they do on purpose.
Just another game the play. If you’ve been with a narcissist you’ll know they up and leave as and when it suits, yet they only take a few of their belongings. Why do they do this do they simply not care about their stuff. YES, they care about their stuff it’s just another one of their lovely tactics. With narcissist it’s all about those mind games they enjoy so much. So every time you are on the rise to true happiness again, something they will never be able to do within themselves. They like to have a back up plan of more mind game to see if they can mess with you some more. Which simply means they are in desperate needs of a reaction from you. To say they don’t care about you is very accurate. What they do care about is themselves, they care getting your emotional reaction, to fill their negative selves, what you provided for them.
They leave their stuff just to leave you with some hope they’ll come back because they know you love them and they think you don’t know what they are. Normal people don’t go from I love you yesterday to nope I just don’t love you today. So I feel you. It is fine you’re allowed to hope, love and care you’ve got emotions you are normal. They leave the belongings so they know they can return because a manipulator has to talk to you to manipulate you. Then they will call you up about their stuff then twist it all around. Or even better they’ll arrange to come and get it when you’re in. All whilst they’re telling the replacements the woe is my story about how you’ll not give them the belongings back, which falls into the next reasons they’ll happily leave as much of their stuff as possible.
So what you really want to do is pack all their stuff up and chuck it in the bin, take a photo and press send. Oh look you just reacted. They can now mind mess with your head about how childish you are, even though they disappear and don’t talk for a week or five.
Even worse you pack up all their belongings and dump onto the front garden of your replacements house which might make you feel good for the second but it’ll not last so please don’t. Yes, a normal person that messes up and cheats, find their new partner will see exactly why you’d do this. A narcissist replacement is not the same. Remember they’ve filled their head in with just how crazy you are and how unhinged you are. How’s this act going to look. Yes, you’ve got it. Crazy.
Please don’t worry if you’ve already done this it’s a perfectly normal reaction for most people who’ve been cheated on especially in the way narcissist do it. Unfortunately, because of how a narcissist is programmed, they will not feel guilty like someone who just cheated on you would. They’re waiting on your reaction to confirm the crazy story off you.
Two years ago I packed all my ex’s stuff up and placed in the garage for them to collect. Sent them a message letting them know. Even his parents who he was giving a 7-month silent treatment too, so they came round to see the grandchildren, said how thought-full I was and I wasn’t like all the others, who’d Chucked it, burnt it and cut it up. I fully see why they did this and I give them a round of applause 👏 for doing so and for breaking free.
So what did I get a thank you nope? I get a message saying “ for someone who’s regimented and organised, you’ve not packed my things very well “ think I almost wet myself with laughter. I did not respond.
Although I did respond about a telly they so desperately wanted back. You know the one in the living room that our two young children sit and watch. The only thing they brought for the home in the last 5 years. Even though they were living with my replacement who had TVs.
So they said I had to buy it off them for £500. Or they wanted it tomorrow. Well, that telly was in the sale. So I purchased a brand new one exactly the same for £299. Win-win. I messaged to say new telly arriving in morning yours will be in the garage to collect. What did I get. “ no today’s no good I don’t want it today”. “ no I don’t want it at this house”
That would be ok but I don’t want it getting broken. I didn’t want the responsibility of it. So what did I do I picked up that 40inc tv with a grin on my face marched it to my replacements home when I knew ex-narcissist was home. Put it in front of the gate and messaged. To get a barrage of an abusive message back on how they didn’t want it. Hang on a min you wanted it back. What changed, oh yes you got your telly as you asked. You did not get any reaction from me. I just replied, “ it’s outside “.
I waited and took a photo to have proof they’d gotten it as I’d got wiser to who they were. How they’d use anything to manipulate and twist.
I was strong-minded. Strong-willed and I was taking back control of me. Whilst they slowly slipped into the someone I used to know bracket.
If they have stuff of yours. They’ll not give it to you, they might make arrangements to, to simply break the arrangements, if you read my false promises you’ll see why they do this too. not because they love or care. Just to get a reaction. They can not function on their own which is why they triangulate ex’s.
You can not negotiate with these people, they are not interested in what you have to say.
If all else fails and you’ve had their stuff for a long time. Take it to a charity shop. You don’t need their stuff In your home just because you’re a good person. If you really want to just throw it away or burn it. Then write them a long letter of how you feel put it with that stuff and burn it or bin it. Just never tell the narcissist you did it. As they’ll believe they got their reaction. In fact, if they do get in touch a year down the line about their stuff. Play them at their own game and just keep replying with “ what stuff” if it makes you feel better after everything they did to you do it. Just make sure the narcissist never knows.