When your narcissist ex moves straight on

If your ex has moved straight on with someone new, this can be very difficult for you to get your head around. Try not to worry about unanswered questions, try to concentrate on yourself.

Tell yourself you are better of without them.

Tell yourself they are love bombing the new person just like they did to you, it’s not the new persons fault, hey you fell for it too. Do not get involved they are probably telling them all sorts of crazy stuff about you just like they did to you with  the other crazy ex’s they have. Rise above, show a happy person even if it’s only on the outside. The new person has to work it out for themselves, just like you had to, showing any emotions you have about it to them, only backs up your ex’s crazy story’s to the new person about you. Give them no evidence of what this person is telling them about you.

Tell yourself they’ve moved on fast because of the own insecurities, the own need to feel loved and valid. They failed with you and your family so they’ve probably jumped straight in with a single parent , doing all the stuff with there children they didn’t do with yours. This will not last, hey they couldn’t keep it up with the own children they will have less patience to keep it up with someone else’s. They are just trying to validate the own failings with this new family. 

If they’re introducing your children to the new partner. Do not slate the new partner to your children, yes I know this can be hard, but it’s easier on your children and will be easier on yourself in the long run, remember it’s not the other persons fault they just fell hook line and sinker just as you once did.

If possible not face to face as you need to think carefully about any response, if you can it’s not easy, text or messenger the new person. When you know they are meeting your children, as they are going to be around your children you want to try and be on good terms.

Just a quick message ( Do not mention ex, never bring ex up) it’s about the children. Just explain each child’s personality, let them know if they have got any problems with them when they are in the new partners care that they can contact you if needed. Let them know you want the children to be raised to respect them and treat them with kindness. Let them know that hopefully they’ll not need to come to you about the children because the children will respect and be kind to them, but children are not perfect so if they need any help regarding the children they can come to you and you will do your best to help however you can. 

If they respond nicely. Just thank them don’t get drawn into any other conversation other than a nice kind one about the children.

If they don’t respond leave it be.

If they respond negatively, just thank them and let them know that’s fine but option to talk to you about the children will always be an option if they ever change the mind.

This is hard. Remember to think positive, you are doing it for your children and yourself for a peaceful, happy life filled full of loving caring people for your children. You are the parent the children will always love you no matter what, you want them to grow up respecting you, knowing you did your best. Even if you don’t always get it right, no one is perfect.

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